Improving your Sex Life : Tips from The Sex Inspectors

Source : Channel 4 The Sex Inspectors

Show 1 Tips : Jamie and Charlotte

ISSUE : Charlotte can only orgasm through masturbation if she’s on her own, in a curled up position with a piece of silk.

TIP : De-sensitization Technique
Tracey runs through the 5 stages of this technique :
1) Charlotte takes photos of Jamie and lays them on the bed whilst she masturbates.
2) Charlotte films Jamie showering and masturbating and films them having sex together. She then watches the video whilst she masturbates.
3) Jamie is blindfolded and allowed into the room whilst Charlotte masturbates.
4) Jamie is in the room, minus blindfold, whilst Charlotte masturbates.
5) Jamie places his hand on top of Charlotte’s as she makes herself come.

ISSUE : Charlotte’s best chance to have an orgasm will be in certain positions

TIP : G-Spot
Tracey shows the couple where the female G spot is located by using a diagram. She also addresses the fake orgasm issue. She looks at how many women do it and how can you tell a woman has orgasmed by pointing out the classic signs : rash, tensing, positioning and hyper-sensitive clitoris.

Tracey then advises Charlotte and Jamie how to squat down in the position that would best stimulate the G-spot and increase the chances of achieving an orgasm through penetration.

ISSUE : Jamie’s touch is too hard

TIP : Finger technique & how to touch a woman leading up to the Bridge Method. Tracey takes Jamie shopping for products to help moisturise his rough hands and then discusses with him how to give a good hand job. They talk about rhythm, frequency, pressure and firmness and Tracey then explains how this can be applied to the Bridge manoeuvre. Tracey advises Jamie that this would be a great way to have a ’quickie’ session in the morning with Charlotte. He can penetrate her quicker using lube and she stands a better chance of coming if his hands are softer, he uses the Bridge Technique and touches her more gently.

ISSUE : Jamie is tired and wound up at night but Charlotte wants sex.

TIP : Passive Sex
Charlotte is told to relax Jamie in the bath and sensuously wash him. However she’s not allowed to share the bath with him or do anything overtly sexual. Charlotte then takes Jamie into the bedroom, lays him down and allows him to be a passive lover. She gives him a blow job whilst applying pressure to his pressure points at the back of the thigh. This allows Jamie to maintain a relaxed state of mind, whilst giving Charlotte the pleasure of knowing that she’s pleasuring her man. It is highly probably that this will lead on to full, less passive sex.

Show 2 Tips : Andrew and Nicky

ISSUE : Lack of sexual communication

TIP:Communication Masterclass
Use a large piece of cardboard to draw a map of the body parts of your particular erogenous zones, rating each one out of ten. Then get together with your partner and discuss what you’ve discovered. It may be that there are things you like that your partner has no idea about, or it could be a good opportunity to give your partner some positive feedback on the things they already do that you like.

ISSUE : Male dislike of oral sex

TIP : Oral Sex Class
This exercise is designed to put some fun into what some men can see as a chore. Try some a few different products designed to help in this area, such as the Tongue Joy ; a small ’bullet’ vibrator that is attached to the tongue by an elastic band. If the taste itself is a problem, try using some chocolate paint.

ISSUE : Low Libido

TIP : Spanking This tip is designed to increase desire and bring some passion back into a sex life that’s gone off the boil. Get kitted out with a decent whip and practice using it before you take it into the bedroom where you can gently whip your partner up into a frenzy of desire.

Show 3 Tips : Rea and Gary

ISSUE : Lack of sexual staying power

TIP : Pelvic floor exercise.
The pelvic/ kegel exercise regime basically pulls up the pelvic muscle as if stopping yourself going to the loo. This strengthens the muscles and helps men delay ejaculation. If you do this with an erection the penis moves up and down slightly. To increase the challenge place a towel over your penis and see if you can still get it to move.

ISSUE : Lack of emotional connection

TIP : 2 pre-sex rituals
a) Solar Plexus Peace - place your hands on each other’s stomachs. Feel each other breathing and automatically your breathing will fall into sync.
b) Lovers’ Steeple - sit naked, finger tips together and stare into each other’s left eye.

ISSUE : Lack of skill and confidence as a lover

TIP : Have a glass with ice cubes and a cup of hot tea by the bed. Put ice cubes in your mouth and then kiss your partners breasts, letting the cube skim across her nipples occasionally. Then get rid of cube, take a sip of tea and go back to sucking and licking her nipples. The feeling of a warm, hot mouth directly after a cold one, jolts the skin and reawakens a desensitised breast.

TIP : Male G-spot stimulation
Very gently place a lubricated finger in your partner’s anus and wait whilst the muscle round it relaxes. Then gently stimulate the G spot with a beckoning motion.

ISSUE : Loss of intimacy during sex.

TIP:Face-to-face sexual positions

1.Missionary
This is probably first position you had sex in and will probably the. The reason why it’s how most couples have sex most of the time is it’s comfortable and there’s face to face contact. It’s a position you’ll choose when couldn’t really care less if have sex or not but ironically, it’s also the position you choose when you’re so eager for him to be inside you, you don’t care how he does it : just do it now !

2.Chair
In this position the woman is on top, with her legs in a position where leverage can be achieved. This time the woman is the boss because you’ll have complete control of depth of penetration, angle and speed. If you’re not particularly confident women can simply lean forward and kiss your partner as they can’t see a thing ! If deep penetration has ever been a problem for you, you can relax in this position because he can only go as deep as you let him. The man’s hands are free to caress his partners breasts and stimulate the clitoris (lean forward and lift up a little for easier access).

3.Side-by-side version of the missionary position (the door jam)
It’s comfortable, cuddly and sensual - a perfect introduction to different styles of sex.

Show 4 Tips : John and Tracey

ISSUE : Male lack of confidence. Partner is unlikely to initiate sex

TIP : No masturbation.
The man must try and initiate sex with his partner at least once a day. Looking his partner in the eye, and being more tactile can increase his self-confidence. Masturbating alone should be avoided -the less sex the man has with himself the more he will feel motivated to initiate sex with his partner.

ISSUE : Lack of intimacy

TIP : Emotional foreplay
To build closeness and intimacy, the couple can try a technique where they sit facing each other with legs intertwined and put their hands on each other’s hearts. They then breath in unison for several minutes, maintaining eye contact.

ISSUE : Poor communication

TIP : Turn on cards
When a couple doesn’t know what turns each on, and they have both stopped asking for what they want, turn on cards can reopen the sexual dialogue. The woman or man writes down their top 20 turn-ons on pieces of card, puts them in a bowl and each day their partner will pick out a card and act on it.

ISSUE : Low libido

TIP:Cunnilingus
Women often confuse low libido with a simple lack of understanding of what turns them on. Oral sex will turn on most women, but many men get it wrong. The man must relax the tongue and use the whole flat of the tongue rather than tensing it and just using the tip. One of the best positions is for the man to lie back on the bed and the woman to sit above him. That way she can control everything and both are in comfortable positions. The man can also try spelling out the alphabet with his tongue on her clitoris.

ISSUE : Achieving orgasm through penetration

TIP:Coital Alignment Technique or CAT
The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) is a sexual position "designed" to greatly improve a woman’s chance of orgasm with genital intercourse. Most women need to have clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm. The clitoris is about 2-3 cm closer to the front of the woman’s body than the vaginal opening. Thus, it is possible that traditional missionary position thrusting misses the clitoris all together. The CAT allows the man and woman’s combined thrusting to do the job. What’s different is that the man has vaginal sex with his partner from a higher angle than usual, thrusting pressure on the woman’s clitoris while he enters and re-enters her in response to her pelvic thrusts.

CAT is basically a revised missionary position, with the man on top and face to face with his partner (CAT can be done with the woman on top, too). The man enters initially from between the woman’s legs, but then lifts himself further up the length of her body so that his thrusts make contact with her clitoris. At the very same time the base of the man’s penis is also being stimulated. By leaning to the right or left of her torso, the man can rest his weight partially on his partner and partially on whatever the platform is for this event. It is important for the man to relax his upper body. The woman can then wrap her legs around his, trying to extend the stretch of her legs so that her ankles are about at the height of his calves. With this position a woman can then begin to thrust her own pelvis, repeatedly making contact between her clitoris and the base of his penis. Basically this is a rocking back and forth in sync sort of thing with the focus on the clitoris and the base of the penis rather than being all about penetration.

ISSUE : Lack lustre sex

TIP : Make your own erotic home video
Scripting and playing out an erotic home movie can help a couple explore their fantasies

Show 5 Tips : Pete and Sally

ISSUE : No variety in sex life

TIP : Arousal Checklist
Think about what your favourite place to have sex is, your favourite time of day for sex, what your favourite type of foreplay is, your favourite part of your and your partner’s body and your favourite fantasies. Every day choose a different of your favourite positions and put each of your options on a pinboard. This will enhance the variety in your sex life by having sex in different positions, places etc.

ISSUE : Female lack of confidence in initiating sex

TIP : Touch and Tease
a) This tip is designed to create anticipation. Practice by blowing onto your arm through fabric and then use this technique on your partner’s scrotum while he is fully clothed. Don’t go any further and walk away, thereby increasing your partner’s anticipation.
b) Cover your partner’s eyes after applying perfume to your wrists. This will deprive him of one sensation (sight) and enhance another sensation (smell).

ISSUE : No longer kiss passionately

TIP : Timed Kissing
After several years together, many couples adapt to pecking rather than snogging passionately. This tip is designed to show you that a minute kissing will lead to more passion in the bedroom. Kiss your partner five times a day for a minute at a time.

ISSUE : Male lack of desire

TIP:Sloppy Diamond
Try this as part of foreplay with your partner. Move around your partner’s mouth, nipples and scrotum, initially in a diamond formation and then, to create anticipation, in random movements.

Show 6 Tips : Mark and Bina

ISSUE : Lack of sexual staying power

TIP : The Stop-Start technique
Stop-start involves the man stimulating his penis and then stopping the stimulation before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Then as he regains control, he begins stimulate his penis again. Repeat this three times before you allow yourself to ejaculate on the fourth time. Do this exercise three times a week, until you’ve gained good control. You can get your partner to do the stimulating, with you indicating when they need to stop and start. Then you can progress to stop-start with intercourse with your partner on top and you remaining still not moving. You’ll again need to instruct her to stop moving when you sense you’re losing control. Progress over subsequent times to having you move, then side-by-side intercourse. Instead of stopping and starting, you may progress to merely slowing down to enable you to regain control of your urge to ejaculate. Therapists counselling patients using this stop-start technique report a 90 per cent success rate in delaying ejaculation.

ISSUE : Mismatched libidos

TIP : Magnets
This is a clear way to communicate if you want sex but taking the awkwardness and guesswork out of it. Put two magnets on the fridge, one each, which you move up or down to indicate how horny you’re feeling. This removes the pressure of trying to second guess and the ’less sexy’ person can take control a little.

ISSUE : Pre-occupation with performance

TIP : Selfish sex
Concern over ’doing it right’, e.g. putting off climax for ages, can lead to a pattern of anxiety-ridden ’performance sex’. Because you become focussed on satisfying your partner 100 per cent you don’t get to enjoy it fully yourself. To break this pattern, let you have to be totally passive during sex, letting your partner do all the work. Focus on your own sexual feelings and sensations rather than your partners. Close your eyes if it makes it easier to concentrate on just what you are feeling. This will allow you to become the enjoyer instead of the performer.